Grey
by stitchedXtogether
Summary: Raven slowly withdraws from the group with meditation. But Starfire decides she needs to get her point across the non-talkative way.


Skin. It was always a different color, no matter where you went. But it was different with me. No matter how long I stayed in or out of the sun, nothing helped. It was always the same; ugly, bland, disgusting. Just like me.

Starfire's was only off by a little on human color. And Beastboy, everyone loves green. Orange was healthy. . . beauty, bright and vibrant. Green was energy, interesting and unique.

Grey was nothing. Neither black nor white. Neither light nor dark. The result of good and evil. Creation and destruction.

I fought for the side of good along with my friends. But my skin told me there was still a darkness I couldn't control. Markings under it that yearned for release. It was in me whether I wanted it or not. I hovered in meditation in my room. Repeating the three words that helped my control. After a few moments more I sighed and sank to the floor. Yes, it helped me control my powers. But it also gave me too much time to think.

Meditation was for clearing the mind. But thoughts always wandered in, invited or not. I stood carefully, legs stiff. I'd been at it for a while. Beastboy and Cyborg's video game screeched into my ears as soon as my door opened. Ugh. Was it even worth it to get tea?

. . .

It's always worth it to get tea.

And so I ventured out into the livingroom (perhaps the bravest thing I'd done all day, besides looking under BB's door when I smelled what appeared to be week old pizza) for my tea. The duo were on the couch, screaming at each other. When one car gained the lead, Beastboy or Cy would reach over and hamper the other's controller until their car exploded or they zoomed ahead.

I stared blandly at the screen for a moment before making my way to the kitchen where Starfire was. "Friend Raven, hello!" she beamed, mixing an odd concoction in a large bowl. "Are you here to assist me in making the Spudling pudding?"

I raised an eyebrow, not wanting to know what was in the bowl. I thought the last time I heard her use 'Spudling' she described it as a worm-beetle from Tamaran. "Just here to make tea, Star."

She drooped a little, her messy stirring slowing down. "Is something 'the wrong'?"

I shook my head lightly, pulling out my teabag box from the cupboard and beginning to boil water. "Just need my tea." I could feel her staring at my back and nonchalantly put my hood up. Over the noise of the game I heard her walk back over to the fridge. I sighed and pulled the boiling water aside, pouring it into a cup and dunking my teabag into it.

Beastboy proceeded to turn into a bear and start wrestling Cyborg. "GET OFF ME YA LITTLE GRASS STAIN."

Back to the bedroom.

My door wooshed open and shut behind me, letting me enjoy the somewhat soundproof nature of my abode. I sighed contentedly, sipping the hot herbal mix. Finally.

And then there was a knock behind me. "Friend Raven?" I closed my eyes. Maybe she would go away. The door opened and she peeked her head in. "Friend Raven? May we talk please?"

I exhaled slowly, turning around. "Sure, Starfire."

The Tamaranian walked in uncharacteristically silent, letting the door close. "You have not been around lately. We have been worried . . . are you sure everything is okay?"

I sighed and put the cup down on my bedside table. "Star, you know me. I just like to be alone sometimes." Ugh, that came out wrong. For a second I thought she was going to leave.

But then she moved closer. "Sometimes my English speaking is wrong. _I_ have been worried."

I looked up those few inches at her.

She put a hand on my shoulder, and with the other gently pulled my hood down. "Star-"

"Do not hide from me Raven. Please. You have been hiding from all of us. Why?"

"I'm not hiding," I muttered, beginning to pull away.

She raised her voice. "You _are_ Raven!" Starfire let go to wipe at her eyes. "I know that sometimes you like the 'being alone.' But when I do not see you for a long time I get a terrible feeling. Like Rekma. But it is different and I do not understand."

I remembered Rekma. She said that it had to do with friendships drifting apart. But she said different? A tingle settled down in my gut, I felt hyper-aware. "Star . . . what does it feel like?"

She sniffed. "When you are gone, there is a sadness. And when I see you I feel happy. But you have been gone. So I have not been happy." I timidly reached forward and wiped a tear off of her cheek. She inhaled sharply in surprise. I withdrew.

"Sorry."

"No." She took my hand in hers and placed it back to her cheek. "What is this?"

"Tears?" I replied nervously, keeping calm on the outside. Emotions. Control the emotions.

"No." She ran my fingertips over her lips.

The feeling in my stomach zinged and I pulled away again, trying not to destroy everything in the room. "Starfire, please."

"Friend Raven, what-"

"Please . . . just don't touch me." I put my hood back up.

Then she did something very unexpected. Well, said something very unexpected. "I am tired of not touching you."

"Star I think that came out wro-"

"I meant what I said." She bridged the gap between us and kissed me. I'm pretty sure I heard my tea cup shatter. She paused to breathe. "I meant it." And before I could even catch _my_ breath, we kissed again. I knew we should stop when I heard my bed sheets tearing, but I'd handle that later.


End file.
